I Want What I Want
Ask yourself, what was your "Aha" moment? The moment that turned your life around. The moment you understood that you were exactly where you wanted to be.
It can happen at any time.
"I want what I want." That's what my 5 year old nephew blurted out negotiating candy before dinner.
It starts with candy and before you know it you're yearning for someone else's job or house or spouse; the minute you boil with envy over your neighbor's abundant stash, whiter teeth, shinier hair, thinner thighs, smarter kids and coveted nanny--you abandon what you have for someone else's greener backyard.
When I was 9 years old, I wanted to be Angela Cartwright,” America’s Sweetheart", Linda, in Make Room for Daddy. She had a perfect ponytail, the perfect family and they all thought she was perfect. When I got tired of Miss Sweetheart, I wanted to be just like the more beautiful and glamorous Natalie Wood. Until she drowned, then I wanted to be me.
I was too young to know better, ready to trade my life in for one that appeared grander, more special, more colorful, richer, storybook like, flawless and ideal. Storybook is not what it appears to be. You need a sharp magnifying glass to peer into your neighbor's, your friend’s, your idol's reality. Flip the magnifying glass over and what you see are their stresses, their secrets and their challenges.
It took years to realize that often, what's good and right and exactly what you need is right there in front of you. Probably always has been but you didn't or couldn't see it. I learned the comfort that springs from wanting what I have rather than having what I want.
My aha moment blew up in front of me forty years ago. I was standing in the middle of my kitchen when there was a gas explosion from the oven. Just inches from the burners. Only seconds later, I saw cabinet doors fly open, the window burst into the room and there was debris everywhere. Miraculously, I wasn't hurt but for a minor scratch. It was as though the window's shattering glass surrounded my body but didn't pierce it. A small flame quieted down. What could have been and what was is still a miracle to me today.
"As you go through life, make this your goal: Keep your eye on the doughnut and not on the hole"